


What Are You Doing In My Swamp

by orphan_account



Category: Shrek (Movies)
Genre: Crack Crossover, Crack Relationships, Crossover, Fortnite dance emotes, Gordon Ramsay attacks everyone, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, Lots of onions - Freeform, Max (Camp Camp) Swears, Mentioned Shrek (Shrek), Multi, Multiple Crossovers, Onions, Party, Shrek References, This Is STUPID, Weirdness, i swear i dont do drugs, unacceptable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 11:30:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17917934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: This is a joke, I swear...Shrek throws a party thing and everyone shows up. The place smells like onions which attracts more people than Shrek originally invited. Hundreds of random fictional characters swarm his swamp, and have a big party, thanks to the onion scent. Shrek goes around dating everyone and a lot of random crack pairings... I Mean, HOT COUPLES arrive up to the party... god save us allI don't do drugs i swear, stay in school kids





	What Are You Doing In My Swamp

**Author's Note:**

> this is a joke. i got bored ok. goodnight. lol i hope you enjoy this hope its not bland i hope its bizarre and makes you ponder "wtf did i just read" at the end
> 
> ~ECHO

"DONKEH! It's the big day!" Shrek said.

"Okay shrek. Oh look, here comes Puss In Boots!" Donkey said. Puss showed up.

"Hey guys, I'm gonna date a lot of HOT GIRLS tonight!" Puss said.

"Me too, I hope dragon doesnt know im about to cheat on her... hehehehehehehhe" Donkey said.

Puss sniffed the air.

"Onions..." Puss said.

"Onions? Of course you smell them Laddy, this is my swamp, where I keep my onions!" Shrek said as he was biting into an onion.

As soon as Shrep bit into an onion, a stampede of literally every single fictional character in existance appeared in the distance - main, recurring and one-time. Anime, cartoon, book, movie, Webcomic, etc. EVERY. SINGLE. FICTIONAL. CHARACTER. THAT HAS EVER EXISTED was in that swarm, running towards Shrek's swamp. Think of literally any fictional character, and they are happily running towards Shrek's swamp, their nostrils enchanted by the sweet scent of onions.

"I prepared some onion strew." Puss said.

"Smells good laddy" Shrek said.

A head rose out of the bowl.

"WHERE'S THE LAMB SAUCE?" The head shouted. Oh no it was Gordon Ramsay!

Puss threw the soup into the sky. Gordon Ramsay was gone now.

Now the fictional characters had finally reached Shrek's swamp. Whatever fictional character you're thinking of right now is screaming "ONIONS! ONIONS! FEED ME ONIONS!" At the top of their lungs. The other characters were yelling about onions too. Or arguing.

"I find your swamp... ACCEPTABLE." Lemongrab said, as he ate an onion. "MMM UNACCEPTABLEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" He yelled as he threw the onion away. "MMMMMM I ONLY EAT LEMONSSSSSSSS"

Onion from Apple and Onion and Onion from Steven Universe both ate an onion. They were committing cannibalism!!!!! Also all of the other Adventure Time characters, Apple and Onion characters and Steven Universe characters all ate onions and glared at each other, then the Adventure Time, Apple And Onion and Steven Universe characters all had an onion fight, throwing onions at each other.

"I turned myself into a PICKLE MORTYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Pickle Rick yelled.

"ONIONS ONLY LADDY" Shrek yelled at Pickle Rick. Pickle Rick turned back into Rick.

"WUBBALUBBADUBDUUUUUUUUUUUUUB" Rick shouted before running away. "MORTYYY THERE'S FREE ONIONS HERE WOOOOOO MY TRUSTY PORTAL GUN KNOWS WHERE TO TAKE ME TO THE MOST SCHWIFTY PLACES IN TOWN" he yelled

Goku, Naruto, Guts, Alucard, Light, Vegeta, Saitama and Sailor Moon started fighting each other over who was the strongest anime character. Then Shaggy rose up out of the ground and killed all of them by throwing onion bombs at them.

"Zoinks!" Shaggy said, as he ate a thousand onions.

Erky and Perky started making out in the middle of the party. In the distance, the farting mosquito I forgot his name... Stinks I think? was reading erky perky yaoi.

All of the Joestars t-posed and started doing Fortnite dance emotes. Waluigi started flossing. Wario farted on the Joestars. Then Wario and Waluigi made out.

All of the Undertale characters started an onion war with the Emoji Movie characters - all flinging onions at each other. Frisk picked up Flowey and flung him at Gene, and Flowey pooped on Gene, causing his hair to explode, killing him.

Kris, Ralsei and Susie all showed up, as well as Barney The Dinosaur. Barney and Susie started kissing each other. Kris and Frisk started kissing each other. Shaggy and Ralsei started making out as well.

The Harry Potter characters all started doing the macarena in unison while eating onions, then they yelled "CRIKEY MATE!", turned themselves into onions, then the onions flew away into the sky.

The Homestuck characters arrived in a giant UFO. They abducted Rick and Morty, and the Homestuck characters started dating Rick and Morty. The UFO crashed and everyone screamed as the UFO abducted every single character in Shrek's swamp, then spewed them all out all over the place. Shrek's swamp was covered in a huge mountain of random fictional characters. Then everyone got up and resumed to partying their butts off.

All of the Gumball characters made the weiner dog face, as they started eating the Harry Potter characters, which were onions now. They then started doing Orange Justice.

Skipper from The Penguins Of Madagascar arrived. Everyone froze and stared at him as he arrived.

"Poop." Skipper whispered into a radio thingy.

The Gordon Ramsay head appeared in the sky again.

"THE BASS IS FUCKING RAW!" Gordon Ramsay shouted.

The flying Gordon Ramsay head then ate Skipper and flew away.

All the Undertale, Emoji Movie, Apple and Onion, Steven Universe, Adventure Time characters' onion war combined into a giant onion war. But then they stopped throwing onions, and proceeded to do Fortnite dance emotes. Waluigi and Wario then started terrorising all the Undertale, Emoji Movie, Apple and Onion, Steven Universe, Adventure Time characters with chainsaws.

"TEN MILLION POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR FOR DOING FORTNITE DANCE EMOTES." Snape yelled at the Undertale characters.

Then all the Baldis' Basics characters showed up.

Baldi attacked the Emoji Movie characters for getting an equation wrong.

"No vegetals in the halls" Principal said as he chased after the Apple and Onion as well as Veggietales characters. Waluigi was reading Larry The Pickle x Pickle Rick yaoi. So was Wario, who was reading Waluigi x Larry The Pickle x Pickle Rick yaoi.

"GOTTA SWEEP SWEEP SWEEP" The gotta sweep said as all the Steven Universe characters were swept into a bowl of onion soup, then Sans and Papyrus poured that soup on spaghetti and ate it.

"That spaghetti tastes liek diamonds and jewels and weird doritos now i have no teeth because you put gems in the spaghet" sands sighed.

"NYEHEHEHEHEE" Papyrus said, laughing. Then he T-Posed, and the Adventure Time characters all T-Posed too.

The Camp Camp characters all dabbed.

"FUCK YOU DAVID" Max yelled. Then Nikki started flossing. "NIKKI NOOOOOOOO" Max yelled.

"Hi little girl' Smiler said to Neil.

"Fuck off Trump" Neil said to Smiler.

"MAX NO SWEAR HOOEY" David yelled.

"FUCK SHIT FUCKITY FUCK" Max yelled.

"I'M MR MEESEEEKS LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Mr Meeseeks yelled. Then he summoned 1000 other Mr Meeseeks. All of them started doing Gangnam Style, and all of them started throwing onions at Lemongrab.

"UNACCEPTABLEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Lemongrab yelled.

Skipper and Sans started making out.

There were loads of other fictional characters too but it would be too long to list what all of them were doing.

Soon, Shrek decided the party was getting to chaotic.

"EVERYONE OUT" Shrek yelled. He pulled out a giant vaccum cleaner and sucked all the fictional characters into the vaccum cleaner. Shrek had a vacum cleaner containing every fictional character except for Donkey, Puss and himself now.

"We got them all" Shrek said.

The Gordon Ramsay head returned.

"RAW! RAW! RAW!" It yelled. It used laser vision to shoot the vacuum cleaner. The cleaner exploded, and random fictional characters flew out all over the place, like a fountain. All of them were T-posing.

Whatever fictional character you are thinking of as you read this started flossing.

The end.


End file.
